What Glenn said.

Go. Read.

Sorry ... you were saying something?

Shorter Conservative MP Rick Dykstra: "Excuse me ... what was that? Dead soldiers? Yeah, I'll get right on that."

Sean Hannity: Douchebag.

Dear idiot wankers: This is YOUR fault.

To Canada's Blogging Tories: You own this. Never forget that.

Orly, Orly, Orly ...

I think Orly has some serious 'splainin' to do.

So ... "Hunter" ... how's that Sarah Palin worship working out?

When even Fox News starts calling you out, you know you have some credibility problems.

That's what happens when you start seeing "terrorists" everywhere.

Oops. When asked what they thought of this obvious injustice, several members of Canada's Blogging Tories replied, "So ... what's your point?"

This day (actually, yesterday) in history.

Via Larry Moran over at Sandwalk:

Heh.

Indeed.

The Justin Chronicles.

Um ... OK:

Justin Hoffer said...

Out of curiosity, if you kill a man that has a gun to the head of a child, is that terrorism?

If not, then why is someone killing an abortion doctor terrorism?

Oh, that's right. I almost forgot, you don't include the unborn in your definition of a human being. Why isn't exactly clear to me, maybe someone can explain?

I'm guessing the legal profession isn't in Justin's future.

Here, let me tighten that up for you, Justin.

Self-described loud, angry Jew and Blogging Tory Justin Hoffer:

"Oh, and I'm signing on with the Israeli military within the next two years. I'll send you all presents if you want them."

No, no, too pithy. Here, how about:

"Oh, and I'm signing on with the Israeli military within the next two years because, as the courageous Jewish stud that I am, I look forward to serving in a world-class military equipped with the nastiest weapons of mass slaughter ever devised and funded every year to tune of billions of dollars of American taxpayers' hard-earned money, in order that I might have the pleasure of wiping out countless poorly-armed, impoverished Palestinians, a lot of whom are no more than children throwing rocks."

OK, technically, that wasn't "tighter," but it was definitely more accurate.

AMUSINGLY, over at Red Tory's, Justin is slightly more forthcoming:

First, I’m going to get my Israeli citizenship next year. Shortly after that, I will be signing on with the Israeli military for three or four years before moving back to Canada.

Getting your Israeli citizenship, going to fight for another country, then ... coming back to Canada? Geez, Justin, that seems to be what the derogatory label "Canadian of Convenience" was pretty much invented for, wouldn't you say? I wouldn't be mentioning any of this plan to your Blogging Tory colleagues, Justin ... we already know what they think of dual citizens.

Cows ... the new terrorism.

I figure it's only a matter of time until today's wingnuts start referring to methane-inspired terrorism.





More to come ...

BONUS TRACK: And if you want to know why I'd like the Liberals to sink into the same tar pits as Stephen Harper's gang of criminals, well, here you go.

Apparently, democracy and free speech are just terrorism by another name. A Liberal told me that.

Not Black Sabbath

Sophie Madeleine - "Stars" from knuckle.tv on Vimeo.

Oh, so that’s why.

The Raging Tory explains:

I believe Canada needs to grow up and become a republic. I am sick of the monarchy, and will not serve in Canada's military because they swear an oath of allegiance to the crown, rather than our nation.

And all this time I thought the average warmongering Neocon refused to join the armed forces because they’re raging, hypocritical cowards who are just thrilled to talk the talk without actually, you know, walking the walk. See George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, John Ashcroft, Rush Limbaugh, Tom Tancredo, et al.

My bad.

What she said.

You go, girl!

When awesomely stupid Blogging Tories blog.

BTer Jonathan Strong asks the apparently rhetorical question:

How Could Ft. Hood Be Anything But Terrorism?

Good question, Jonathan, since -- as we all know -- it's standard behaviour for those nefarious, swarthy evildoers to, as part of their nefarious, evil plan, join the U.S. military, then eventually plead for their release, to the point where they offer to reimburse the government for the entire cost of their training and education if that's what it takes.

I have a humble suggestion: To make things easier in the Canadian blogosphere, can Stephen Taylor simply rename the Blogging Tories to "Unbelievably Stupid People Who Hate Muslims"? Seriously, I'm betting that would save folks loads of time they'd normally spend eventually figuring out that those people are all terminally retarded racists.

UNSURPRISINGLY, the terminal stupid continues into Jonathan's comments section, where commenter "Canuckguy" embarrasses all carbon-based lifeforms thusly:

Political correctness reigns. As with crimes where the culprit is obvious, he(Hasan) is still referred to by the media as 'a suspect'.

Quite right, CG, it's just political correctness run amuck. Ignore, of course, that it is absolutely standard procedure to use the word "suspect" even in cases like this. Like when Scott Roeder -- who murdered Dr. George Tiller in front of numerous witnesses -- was still described in the media as the "suspect."

But, hey, CG, don't let reality intrude into your comfortable, tinfoil-wrapped existence.

Dismal Turnouts For Victory!

Well the by-elections are over and we can prepare for each of the parties to make their pitch claiming success or in the Liberal's case, nobody died. Most significant is the Con's win Quebec. By stripping the Bloc of the Montmagny, L'Islet, Kamouraska and Riviere du Loup seat they can make an argument that their fortunes in Quebec have begun to shift. The NDP took New Westminster and made gains in their percentage of the turnout in Quebec, so they will also claim success. The riding of Hochelaga was a strong Bloc victory and nowhere did the Liberals fare better than third in popular voting. The neorhino.ca party brought in 0.7% of the votes in Hochelga, besting the totals of the independent candidate and the Marxist-Leninist Party. They are a force to keep an eye on in coming months.

The Conservative win in Quebec comes on the heels of the governing Cons popping by the riding to drop one quarter of a billion dollars of taxpayer money into the local economy to widen a highway. $242 million, that is going to be one wide assed highway. Having taken the riding with 12,162 votes as of the last tally, that comes to about $19,900 per Conservative vote. That my friends, is some sweet graft, er pork... um, stimulus!

I look forward to the Liberal Party spin on these results. By-elections? There were by-elections... yawn, oh we hardly noticed. This really doesn't bode well for the official opposition considering the Harper minority government is presiding over a huge and growing deficit on the heels of a string of gaffes and scandals. I suppose we can expect Michael Ignatieff to start lining his team up for those confidence votes. Or perhaps not. Should be a fun squirm to watch.

Qualifiers! Get your weaselly qualifiers here!

Apparently, the RCMP possibly might have hindered in some non-specific way the potentially questionable activities of allegedly bad people who perhaps were considering doing us something remotely resembling harm (emphasis tail-waggingly added):

OTTAWA -- The RCMP disrupted 14 suspected terrorist incidents in recent months, including several in which the alleged activities were interrupted without charges or publicity.

The cases all involved suspected national security-related criminal acts and the Mounties' national security enforcement teams and sections, according to the force's fiscal 2008-2009 performance report tabled in the Commons.

Buried deep within an attached document, police reveal they disrupted the activities of the 14 groups and/or individuals during the year. Though no additional details are offered, a handful of the cases were publicized.

And how intellectually deficient do you have to be to get excited over that embarrassing lack of content and specificity? I'm glad you asked.

Canada's Blogging Tories: They'll believe pretty much anything.

I can't believe I missed this.

I think #9 might be my favourite.

Here, let me tighten that up for you.

Shorter Stephen Harper Party of Canada: "$242 million? Is $242 million enough to buy your votes? Seriously. We have more."

BY THE WAY, after reading Impolitical's take on how your tax dollars are being used to increase the public exposure of unelected Conservatives and whether this represents a violation of Elections Canada laws, one might be tempted to wonder just what Captain Canada Stephen "I am all about the democracy" Taylor thinks of all this since, once upon a time, he was terribly, terribly concerned about the propriety of taxpayer dollars being used inappropriately.

How about it, Stephen? It seems only natural that someone who yammers on about "non-monetary contributions" and "commercial value of services" might, perhaps, have an opinion on Stephen Harper shovelling free (and generally costly) political exposure in the direction of Conservative hacks and flunkies who don't even represent their ridings.

So, Stephen, your thoughts? I'm just curious. Or is this simply another case of IOKIYAC?

Generalizing to conclude that ALL members of the military are imbeciles would be unfair.

Over at a Canadian military online forum, contributor "zipperhead_cop" seems quite proud of his devastatingly on-point observation regarding the Fort Hood shooting suspect:

Funny how this clown has a huge crisis of conscience after the military pays for a nice doctoral level education.

And, sadly for zipperhead, there's reality:

"I know what that is like," [his aunt] said. "Some people can take it, and some cannot. He had listened to all of that, and he wanted out of the military, and they would not let him leave even after he offered to repay" for his medical training.

Facts: Always with that gosh-darned liberal bias.

Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there.

This is what happens when you forget to make sure Grandma takes her meds. And it's why Mommy and Daddy look so stressed out these days and spend a lot of time going over colourful brochures with words like "retirement" and "nursing home" and "24-hour monitoring" in them.

Palin/Bachmann in 2012!

Seriously, the entertainment value would be awesome.

Head Cases

I blame Bobby McFerrin.

Neurosonics Audiomedical Labs Inc. from Chris Cairns on Vimeo.

Bravo, Madam Speaker.

Dear Nancy Pelosi:

Congratulations on the successful and historic passage of the health care bill. The fact that you sold out every other woman in America to get it done is, of course, completely irrelevant.

What a bright, shining moment for the Democratic Party.

Yours in endless contempt,
LuLu

Dear CBC:

For the love of God (no pun intended), would you please get rid of that worthless cementhead Mary Hynes, her execrable "Tapestry" program, and those mind-numbingly useless and senile guests of hers?

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Mark Steyn: Canada's Ugliest Racist.

Behold.

(Hat tip to a man who is as hideous on the outside as he is on the inside, Blogging Tory Jabba the Roy.)

When bad people enlist.

As the residents of Doughhead Central point out, the American military is currently under siege, as bad, bad people are quietly enlisting in order to cause damage from within.

Whoops, sorry ... wrong link. I'll get that fixed.

SHRIEK! SHRIEK! SHRIEEEEEEKKK!!! Oh, wait ...

Official Conservative Party of Canada spokesperson Fred "Gay and Right" Litvin is all about the conspiracy theory:

Ft. Hood terrorist linked to 9/11 terrorists...

Shouldn't we start calling him a terrorist???

Hasan, the sole suspect in the massacre of 13 fellow US soldiers in Texas, attended the controversial Dar al-Hijrah mosque in Great Falls, Virginia, in 2001 at the same time as two of the September 11 terrorists, The Sunday Telegraph has learnt. His mother's funeral was held there in May that year.

The preacher at the time was Anwar al-Awlaki, an American-born Yemeni scholar who was banned from addressing a meeting in London by video link in August because he is accused of supporting attacks on British troops and backing terrorist organisations.

Ohmigod, what a monster, carefully biding his time all those years, planning, plotting, deviously putting his nefarious plan into action to ... to ... um, what exactly was he doing all that time? Oh (emphasis tail-waggingly added):

Last night Hasan remained in a coma under guard at a military hospital in San Antonio, Texas, and was said to be in a "stable" condition. Born in America to a Palestinian family, Hasan, 39, was an army psychiatrist who had chosen to sign up for the US military against his parents' wishes.

But he turned into an angry critic of the wars America was waging in Iraq and Afghanistan and had tried in vain to negotiate his discharge.

Ah, the well-established terrorist tactic of trying to get as far away from the enemy as possible. Does the evil of these people know no limits?

AFTERSNARK: I'm guessing neither Fred nor his overtly racist commenters managed to read far enough into that Telegraph article to appreciate this embarrassing revelation:

What does seem clear is that the army missed an increasing number of red flags that Hasan was a troubled and brooding individual within its ranks.

"I was shocked but not surprised by news of Thursday's attack," said Dr Val Finnell, a fellow student on a public health course in 2007-08 who heard Hasan equate the war on terrorism to a war on Islam. Another student had warned military officials that Hasan was a "ticking time bomb" after he reportedly gave a presentation defending suicide bombers.

Maybe it's just me, but I get the feeling that someone in a position of military authority has some serious 'splainin' to do.

The Stephen Harper Party of Canada: Retards.

Because how else can you explain this?

Annual Reports

NOTICE: Reports issued prior to 2006 have been taken down to reflect the most up-to-date information.

Canada's Conservatives: Because it is apparently not possible to have both old and new information linked from the same web page. I mean, come on, how would that work?

(Wag of the tail to CFSR.)

Sure, let's talk about "civility."

Coming soon to a Canadian House of Commons near you:



Wait for it. You know it's inevitable. It's because they're assholes. That's inevitable, too.

Time to find another pin-up girl, Mark.

Once upon a time, Blogging Tory Mark Peters was all moist for conservative poster girl Carrie Prejean:

Character is beautiful

Witness Miss California 2009, Carrie Prejean, willing to stand for her principles rather than sell out for an accolade...

I wonder how it is that a woman's inner beauty, integrity, strength and character makes her worthy of such viciously derogatory comments from a judge, no less, instead of counting as something positive.

So, Mark ... how's that disturbingly creepy Carrie worship of yours holding up? Uh oh. That's gonna leave a mark.

BY THE WAY, it's amusing how yokels like Mark Peters gush (metaphorically) over Prejean as "willing to stand for her principles rather than sell out for an accolade" when, in fact, she did nothing of the sort.

As everyone knows, Prejean spoke her mind but, rather than live with the consequences of that, she proceeded to bitch and moan about how mean everyone was being to her, then started yammering on about discrimination and lawsuits and the like.

Prejean has no principles. None. If you want to understand how principles work, then you need to read this. Eli Herring had principles. Eric Liddell had principles. Carrie Prejean was just a trampy porn star and shakedown artist who refused to accept the consequences of her public homophobia.

One can certainly understand why someone like Mark Peters would find that so laudable.

Busted.

pogge exposes the rather blatant conflict of interest, but I'm amused by this snippet from the referenced article:

Meantime, a keen observer of the conflict says he worries the public won't understand that Canada's real success in Afghanistan includes building new roads and farm infrastructure.

But ... but .. I thought we were all about the schools. What happened to the schools we're building? Don't we care about the schools anymore?

Tune in next month when we will have recalibrated our "success" metrics yet again.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh, for the love of God ... when challenged on his appalling and vile prejudice, Blogging Tory Jabba the Roy links to ... Pajamas Media.

I'm guessing World Net Daily hadn't got around to opining yet.

AFTERSNARK: The depths to which Pajamas Media will sink in smearing someone can be found in this delightful snippet:

And if this is what Hasan is writing under his own given name, one is left to wonder just how extreme any other thoughts belonging to him but written under a nickname — the norm on the internet — would be.

Why, yes ... let's just "wonder" how much more disgusting Hasan's theoretical and hypothetical opinions might be, when writing under a theoretical and hypothetical pseudonym for which no one has any evidence but it would be irresponsible not to speculate, would it not?

Unless, of course, it's just Patrick Ross impersonating someone else on the Intertoobz. I'm guessing that's just as likely.

When you've lost the National Post ...

Don Martin is singularly unimpressed with Stephen Harper comfort girl Mike Duffy. Not that any of that will matter to Duffy; it's a lucky man who's finally found his station in life -- professional fluffer.

P.S. Be sure to appreciate just how thoroughly Mike Duffy has chowed down at the public trough since waddling up to it:

In the meantime, senators of all stripes continue to rack up expenses.

Among the new Tories in the upper chamber, Senator Mike Duffy alone booked more than $44,000 despite sitting for just three months at the end of the 2008-09 fiscal year.

In many places in Canada, $44,000 would be a pleasant annual salary. For the pork-laden Duffy, it's nothing more than expenses. For three months work.

Apparently, Mike Duffy is entitled to his entitlements. That sounds oddly familiar, doesn't it?

It's because they lie.

About even the smallest things.

P.S. If the PMO is genuinely concerned about helping out photographers by "supplementing" their collection of pics of Il Douche, they should just give those photogs the freedom to "supplement" their collection with photos of their own choosing.

I'm thinking this one would make a handy accompaniment to any Harper-related piece:



It seems only fair, wouldn't you say?

LuLu here: And any use of that photo should be accompanied by John Rogers’ oh-so-apt description of Big Daddy Stephen Harper, n’est ce pas?

But, general principles aside, to see money for the advancement of conservative American causes not only funneling into Canada, but not getting SPAT RIGHT BACK IN THEIR FACE, is infuriating. Even if you don't believe in same-sex marriage, fine, don't you believe in Canada's bloody autonomy? Oh, yes, remember when Canada returned all those escaped slaves, because the US wanted them back? No? You venal, cowardly, seditious little pricks. I find it incredibly ironic that Stephen Harper is the leading opponent of gay rights, because if he takes this money he might as well be wearing chaps and a t-shirt that says "I'm an American Evangelical's BOTTOM BITCH."

And here's where we juxtapose ...

• People who, in the face of indescribable tragedy, understand emotional trauma and the possible consequences of when someone finally reaches their snapping point.


• Someone who, in the face of indescribable tragedy, proves that he is nothing more than human garbage and a pathetic waste of skin.

I trust you can appreciate the difference.

THE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE: Can you imagine the intellectual chaos that would have ensued if the Fort Hood shooter had left a note, stating that he was furious about being deployed to Iraq by a President who had no legal right to do so due to his having been born in Kenya and not being an American?

I suspect countless conservative, "Birther" wingnuts would have had some serious 'splainin' to do.

The link that dare not speak its name.

Seriously, do not click on this unless you steel yourself first. What you have is Blogging Tory and deranged whackjob Paul E. Marek, praising Lt. Col. Ralph Peters, while Peters is a guest on the Bill O'Reilly show, all of that followed up by a gushing comment by fellow BTer Brenda/"Hunter". I have no idea how that could get any more lunatic unless Maria "Dodo" Nunes showed up to call a bunch of people "leftards."

Oh, that would be this Lt. Col Ralph Peters, in case you were curious.

Republican brown trousers time.

Via ACR, we see the panty-filling cowardice at Wingnut Central:



Those would be the same people who insist they're the only ones brave enough to protect us from the unspeakable horrors of Islamojihadifarianiam. I'm betting that's tough to do when your undies are full of poop.

Difference? What difference?

Like many intellectually-crippled Blogging Tories before him, Captain Canada Stephen Taylor draws an equivalence between Mike Duffy and Peter Stoffer. There is a difference, though, Stephen -- Stoffer was actually elected to his current position. It's sort of a democracy thing, if you hadn't noticed.

Oh, and don't go bringing that "free speech" bullshit into Taylor's treehouse:



Yeah, he'll ban your sorry ass. Boo yah!

Busted!

Make sure you read the comments section to see JR's hacktacular dishonesty.

I hear phone books and rubber hoses work well.

Apparently, it's perfectly cool to beat the living shit out of Blogging Tory "JR" as long as you don't leave any bruises.

I'm thinking something involving towels and JR's happy sack would work.

I'm thinking the word "blowback" might apply here.

Uh oh ... this has some ugly overtones (emphasis depressingly added):

Hasan was ‘mortified’ about deployment
Relatives: Ft. Hood suspect upset over being harassed about being Muslim

WASHINGTON - Born and reared in Virginia, the son of immigrant parents from a small Palestinian town near Jerusalem, he joined the Army right out of high school, against his parents’ wishes. The Army, in turn, put him through college and then medical school, where he trained to be a psychiatrist.

But Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, the 39-year-old man accused of Thursday’s mass shooting at Fort Hood, Tex., started having second thoughts about his military career a few years ago after other soldiers harassed him for being a Muslim, he told relatives in Virginia.

By way of response, Canada's Blogging Tories reacted predictably to this tragedy by -- you guessed it -- mocking and ridiculing Muslims. Yeah, that's just the approach you want to take here. What could possibly go wrong?

Here, let me save you some time.

Shorter every screechy wingnut on the planet: "See, I told you that all Muslims were murderous scum! To be fair and balanced, I should probably juxtapose that with the 168 people slaughtered by white, American Christian Timothy McVeigh ... oh, gosh, would you look at the time?"

LET THE STUPID BEGIN: Unsurprisingly, we have Canada's Blogging Tories, getting stuff wrong already:

The shooter was Major Nidal Malik Hasan, a Muslim psychiatrist in the US Army. He was a convert to Islam, ...

And then there's reality:

Contrary to prior reports, Hasan has "always been Muslim" and is not a recent convert.

Not that facts have ever mattered much to those blithering yahoos.